My comments on a devoted reader's tee-shirt - censored

My blog has a faithful watcher. Oops – that is a presumption on my part. He could be unemployed or have taken early retirement on the first day from every job he has been offered and gone home to read my blog. And, with more hours in the day than I can fill, he may have faithlessly refused to keep reading my hundred or so posts, and read those of my rivals. How can I compete with people who have dying dogs? I don’t have a dying dog. I don’t even have a dog. 

He obviously fancies me. He kindly sent me not one but two pictures of himself, in crumpled tee-shirts. I wrote back: Thank you for the pictures. In those clothes, I could take you anywhere. A dark alley. Into the sea. Nothing else comes to mind. Mind you, I would look daft, in those clothes. Seriously, I like the red tee-shirt. 

Was it that colour when you bought it? Or do you just like ketchup? Not as bad as I feared. You have no idea how bad my fears were. Seriously, I must assure you I would never wear those clothes, nor any of your clothes. I am not a cross-dresser. Few women are. Apart from Marlene Dietrich. 

Most TVs on adult sites are men. I haven't seen a single woman in man's clothes. Nor a married woman. You say you have a suit - which you will be wearing in court. Why are you in court? Are you courting or being courted, so to speak? Seriously, if it is a parking or speeding offense, I hope you win. If it is mass murder, I hope you go down for a long time. If you go to prison, I shall enjoy reading your letters. I won't reply. But I shall enjoy knowing you are in prison. Unable to reach me. I cannot be seen with people like you. Who wear tee-shirts. Seriously, it sounds serious. You are a very serious person. A friend of mine, who is a magistrate, told me that most defendants nowadays have not the wit, respect, nor wardrobe, to dress up in court. He is supposed to pass judgement on whether they are guilty based on the evidence. He is not supposed to decide on the basis of their clothes. You obviously are a smart person, dresswise, and in addition you are smart enough mentally to realize that if I or somebody old-fashioned like me is on the jury, all the people that day wearing tee-shirts would be found guilty. All those wearing ties would be found not guilty. Alas, ideas of justice have changed. Gone are the days when news readers on TV had to wear suits. Even newsreaders on radio had to wear suits. Nowadays, TV newsreaders can wear what they like. Newsreaders on radio could be sitting there in the nude. To judge by the standard of grammar, they must all be in the nude. Such a pity. It is so much easier for a jury to reach a decision on this basis. Wearing a smart suit, innocent. A suit which needs ironing not proven. A tee-shirt, guilty. And the judge would also find life easier. A smart suit - let off. A suit which needs pressing - ten years. A tee-shirt - fifteen years. A crumpled tee-shirt, twenty years. Once again, I must thank you profusely for the charming pictures of yourself in tee-shirts. I must say that compared with most people on this site, you are over-dressed. And a tee-shirt, two tee-shirts, subtly shows that you are a man of means. Since many photos of men suggest that they cannot afford to buy any clothes. And that they walk around the house with nothing on. I was even sent a photo of a man who did not have a bed or bedclothes. He was lying on his back on a kitchen table. In the nude. Completely disregarding hygiene. In silhouette. Not a tissue in sight. Enjoying a pleasant daydream. Of me or some other woman. So I must thank you for your tasteful picture. 

Of yourself in tee-shirt and jeans. Some of the people I have 'met' through emails on adult sites have pictures showing themselves in their jeans. But very few have done up their flies.

 And to wear a tee-shirt as well, that is true elegance. And a sign of great suspect. You said you a dominant. Are you perhaps a submissive? When it comes to wearing clothes. 

Surely only a submissive wears clothes? Most people seem to wear what they please. Or not wear what they please. Perhaps it is the submissives who pose in the nude? I am not sure I have yet seen a totally nude dominatrix. I feel that to show that one is a dominatrix, tantalizing but unavailable, one should always wear at least a g-string. I am unsure about this. Because I have only been a professional dominatrix for a short time. Since the middle of the last sentence. What do you think? Should I specialize in humiliation? I do not think so. I am far too kind to be a dominatrix. My wit is too subtle. Most men would not know whether they were being put down or set up.