I wonder why.
I don't want to talk about.
If you insist.
HEALTH
2 I have a heart condition - I just had a triple bypass.
VIRGINS
3 I am a virgin. Can you help me?
WIVES
4 You can speak to my wife on the phone - she doesn’t mind - she’s with her boyfriend.
5 My last wife loved being asphyxiated.
MONEY
6 Wait for me in the restaurant. I have to find a cash machine.
7 I may be late - I have to see somebody who owes me a lot of money.
8 I am a millionaire. I’ll take you out for a cup of coffee.
9 I had a million but I lost it.
10 I can’t invite you back. My ex wrote graffiti all over my walls.
11 I drive very fast and wrote off the last car - would you like to come for a drive?
12 Shall we skip the meal and go straight to the fun part?
13 I drive a white van I use for work and you wouldn't want to ride in it.
LIES
14 I put up the five year old photo because I didn't have a better one. What was wrong with it?
15 I can't stay long. My wife didn't want me to go out to dinner without her. I hope she hasn't followed me.
NUDITY
16 Of course I was serious when I said I wanted you to wear a coat and nothing underneath it. I'm very disappointed. I know it's cold, but you could have worn a ski jacket.
CONTRACEPTION
17 I didn't think of bringing any contraceptives. I was tested a month ago.
18 Contraceptives are a waste of time. You can still get pregnant. My last girlfriend did.
TIMING
19 I have to be home by ten to let the cat out.
20 I need an early night. I'm going to Italy for six months tomorrow.
Has anybody said the same to you?
Or worse?
What's the worst thing you've said on a first date?
Did you manage to recover?
Or did you make things worse?
Can you suggest any serious or funny replies?
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